


Troll Dates Require First Aid

by Phaserburn



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canon Lesbian Relationship, F/F, Interspecies Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-02
Updated: 2013-07-02
Packaged: 2017-12-16 20:25:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/866259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phaserburn/pseuds/Phaserburn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As though something as simple as falling down a flight of stairs could end Rose and Kanaya's first date.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Troll Dates Require First Aid

Kanaya Maryam hurried down the stairs in a panicked huff, watching her quickly descending paramour slide blissfully down the stairs.

This was entirely her fault. Considering Rose’s intoxication, it was her responsibility to predict and prevent dangerous situations such as this, including providing consultation as to the inherent perils of stairways.

Why do these things continue to happen?

Rose reached the bottom step before Kanaya could intercept her, and so she connected uncushioned, head first against the concrete. Her legs fell to the side while her back slumped over edges of the steps, much like a wigglers rag doll would.

Rose continued to smile like an idiot despite her injuries. Kanaya resolved to check for a concussion as soon as possible.

She lightly tapped Rose on the shoulder. When that didn’t stir her, she nervously shook her. Rose groaned and turned onto her side, further twisting her legs and pressing her right cheek into the concrete. 

“Rose, Are You Injured?” she asked. Rose responded by giggling and nuzzling her cheek against the rough floor.

“I’m Going To Carry You To Your Room,” she said. She waited a minute for some approval, but no comprehensible sentences came from the young Seer.

Thanks to Kanaya’s strength from years of chainsaw tossing and her recent power boost from reawakening as a Rainbow Drinker (one does not simply send a Juggalo over the edge of a meteor through a swift kick to the bulge) along with Rose’s petite stature, Kanaya was able to lift Rose over her shoulder without much difficulty. The trouble came from when Rose woke up and began wriggling about.

“Kanaya! Where are we going?” Rose asked, twisting her entire body to see where she is instead of turning her neck.

Secretly, Kanaya wondered how to differentiate mental incapacitation from regular intoxication.

Rose, having apparently forgotten her own question, began making airplane noises and rocking on Kanaya’s shoulder with her arms extended like Troll Superman. Kanaya slowed down and steadied her with both arms instead of just one, feeling the soft fragileness beneath her satin dress. A notable difference she’d noticed between male humans and female humans was how they felt. No matter how powerful she was, no matter how intimidating she seemed, Rose always felt so soft when she hugged her. Kanaya secured her grip, and through the fabric she felt Rose’s heartbeat weakly pulse through her arm, calm and steady. Relaxed. Secured.

She only removed her hand when they reached Rose’s room, in order to open the door. The rooms on their meteor were pretty barren. They could only use the furniture they already had at take-off, and it was agreed that most of the interesting things would be placed in the study for communal use. One reason they enjoyed the dream bubbles so much was the change of scenery they provided. Every once in a while, they were spared the onslaught of familiarity.

Rose’s bedroom was especially dull. She had a bed against the opposite wall and a desk near the doorway, covered with a few select books she borrowed from the library to read before she fell asleep. Every week or so, she exchanged them for new copies. 

Kanaya set her down on the mattress, careful to set her head lightly on the pillow. The gentleness of it fully awoke Rose.

“Good mornhing shexy.”

Kanaya shushed her and felt her forehead. She needed to check for injuries.

“Rose, Keep Your Eyes Open.” Rose nodded. Rose was awake, but Kanaya still felt the need to check for a concussion. Kanaya had read a human first aid manual to pass the time, and she was surprised how quickly the information was coming to her. Rose was too intoxicated for her to properly check her cognition. The only other thing she could think to test if her eyes focused properly. Without any flashlights nearby to check her cognition, she turned on her glowing powers.

Rose giggled. “I’m the Sheer of Lite.”

“Very Funny,” Kanaya said.

“What are you doeng shilly?” she asked.

“Checking You For Potential Injury After Your Stumble,” she explained. Rose’s eyes dilated normally, but she wondered if there were more tests she could perform to cover the gambit of potential injuries.

Rose giggled again and relaxed. “I’m Gos Tier, remember?” she said, then corrected herself, eyebrows furried in concentration. “God tier. Gog Tier. Do you remember?”

“Oh,” Kanaya said, turning off her powers and letting the room fall into dimness again. Rose, however, continued to glow.

“Its liek Univershal Helth coveraghe. Fom the Univearse,” Rose mumbled to herself. She settled into the bed, nuzzling the back of her head against the pillow.

That was an interesting point. True, falling down a flight of stairs is far from Heroic and generally not Just.

“Are You Certain Your Immunities Will Extend This Far?” Kanaya asked upon deaf ears, as Rose played with her dress.

All of the sudden, Rose gasped. “Shite.” She lifted her leg off of the bed and flexed her uncovered foot.

“What Is Wrong?”

Rose knocked her heel against her other foot and flexed her toes. “I losh one of mei shoes,” she said, choking back tears, “On the hairs. Stairs.”

Kanaya thought back. In all the hurry, she had forgotten about one of Rose’s shoes, waiting at the top of the stairway.

“Will yuu get iet?” Rose asked, looking up at Kanaya with the dewy eyes of a Fairy Bull.

Kanaya sighed. “Fine. Wait Here.”

Rose cheered like a jubilant grub as Kanaya walked to the door.

She seemed so different tonight, unlike the girl she had spent two years with. Kanaya began wondering how extensive the effects of alcohol were on humans, but openly decided against it. She didn’t want to think about that right then. So she thought about the shoe, instead, and how the clown had best kept his hands off of it.

They had struck Kanaya from the moment she saw them actually, not only because they were excessively stylish, but because they seemed so contrary to Rose’s normal style. Even in her Seer outfit, Rose had always attempted to exude a mysterious and dark persona, despite her natural friendliness. She liked to wear her hood up while she was working, lowering her head to cast shadows and doubt over her features. Unlike her current childishness-

No. She wasn’t going to think about it anymore. She wasn’t going to worry.

The shoe remained untouched at the top of the stairway when she arrived, un-tampered by juggalokind or otherwise, although she could almost hear a faint honk in the distance as she began climbing the stairs.

At the top she stopped to admire the slipper. Silently she wondered if it had fallen off when Rose was trying to kiss her or after she had tripped. 

Suddenly she reminded herself of the kiss, which had been lost in her worry.

The kiss that could have been, which had come while discussing the merits of Auspisticism as well, as alien as that seemed to her. If she had known discussions about the ashen quadrant were such a flushed turn on for humankind, she would have brought it up much sooner.

Ironically, the near-kiss had distracted her from Rose tripping and Rose’s fall had distracted her from the kiss. At least, she believed that was Irony. She would have to discuss it with Dave later, doubly serving as an opportunity to inform him of the new developments in her and Roses relationship. 

If there were any developments, that is.

Kanaya held the shoe closer to her chest while cautiously descending down the steps.

She had learned so much about Rose since they joined one another on this meteor; so much more than she could ever have learned second hand from a walkthrough, or passively from a computer screen. There are so many things one cannot learn about a person until they discuss things, look into each other’s eyes while they speak, and wait for the parts that make them light up.

Kanaya could hear Rose singing to herself when she returned; some human song, although the words were too slurred to easily interpret. She stopped when Kanaya entered the room to cheer and point at her bare foot.

“Shall I Put Both Shoes At The Foot Of Your Bed?”

“Noo,” Rose slurred, “on mi feet.”

Kanaya moved closer to the bed, shoe in hand.

“As You Wish,” and she completed the matching set of slippers.

“I feal jhust like Cindraellla.” Rose said. She paused. “Cindrella.”

Kanaya’s eyes widened. “You Mean The Troll Fairytale, Girl Dealing With Abuse At The Hands Of Her Stepmother Attends A Royal Ball Against Her Guardians Wishes Through The Assistance Of A Magical Parental Substitute And Rises From Her Domestic Duties Through Marriage With A Prince She Meets Who Later Identifies Her Through Her Unique Shoe Size.”

“Yea, that ohn.” Rose pulled the covers back from their sides and rolled away from Kanaya in the bed. “Wanna join me Princes Charning?”

Kanaya shrugged. “I Don’t See Why Not.”

Kanaya shifted into the admittedly crowded bed and lay on her side so she was looking at the back of Rose’s head. Rose giggled and pressed backwards so they were touching, back to stomach, thigh to thigh. Kanaya’s arm instinctually wrapped around Roses waist and pulled her closer, slightly.

“I hearst you,” Rose sighed, and a minute later she was asleep.

Kanaya wasn’t as tired so she lay awake, listening to their breaths and heartbeats and trying to synchronize the two.

She had spent her entire life taking care of others, making sure their quadrants were stable so they could feel secure, but she had never felt so protective in her life.

She ended the night with a silent wish to her own troll fairy godmother that Rose’s affections didn’t end at Midnight, when her intoxication did.

She wished that Rose knew exactly how much “I heart you” meant when she said it.

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Dave once referred to Roses condition as “getting completely plastered.” He wasn’t playful and reminiscent though, like he usually was when he would share Earth slang with Kanaya.

He would look away; lower his head until all you could see was a hood and your own reflection in the black of his shades. He hid the words away in a slew of metaphors and allusions and adjectives, until he could barely recognize them anymore either. He had many different words to describe Rose’s new habit, but they all sounded regretful.

The books in Rose’s room ceased rotating, unapproachable behind the growing collection of beakers and bottles Rose used for drinking cups. 

It was part of a greater de-evolution of Roses personality Kanaya observed. 

It bothered her for reasons that took time to understand. Looking back over her pesterlogs, buried under tons of wit and flirtation, but deep at the very bottom of the pile was that first interaction she attempted. The one that the John Human had hijacked. The one that was so definitively unlike the Rose she had expected, or the Rose she was eventually privileged enough to meet.

But that was how Rose, the real Rose, acted like now. She acted like John’s parody, without her admirable wit or charm. 

It was a shame Kanaya had yet to date that one. But she would. 

If she could keep Vriska and Tavros and even Eridan from killing one another on Alternia, she could help one human. She could bring Rose back.

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a Comment if you like it :D
> 
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> 
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